I didn't realize that my last post was an Alan Watts video also, until I started posting this.  I guess I've been locked in on a particular subject recently.  Anyway, I saw this video yesterday and it stuck with me, very deeply.  Today, everything 'made sense' in its own weird way.  The angry people, the happy people.  The problem, the solutions.  Each one existed because of the other.  If everyone is angry, how do you know what happy is?  What's the definition of a solution, if there never has been one?  All of this is similar to another Alan Watts lecture, but what I'm attempting to say is when you're observing things too closely, things can be upsetting, things may seem to be a lost cause.  When you take a step back and look at everything as a whole, the pieces of the puzzle start to fit.  The puzzle can be just as beautiful when it's not together.  Harmony can, and will always exist if we choose to see things from a different perspective.  

Anyway, the YouTube channel Wiara is really cool, so if you want to see more videos like this, check them out here...

Live fully now...


I've been watching lots of philosophical videos on YouTube lately.  I'm quickly becoming a fan of Alan Watts.  I thought this was a good fit, with all of the graduations going on this time of year.  Not mine, but for those that still have so much to learn about what lies ahead of them.  

“There is no use planning for a future, which when you get to it and it becomes the present, you won’t be there. You’ll be living in some other future which hasn’t yet arrived. And so in this way, one is never able actually to inherit and enjoy the fruits of one’s actions. You can’t live at all, unless you can live fully now.” - Alan Watts


Your need for acceptance

WOW!  Another beautiful video!  I need to continue to make the changes that I've been making, and seeing things for what they are.  Work, material things, fake friends, none of that stuff matters.  There's a bigger and brighter world out there for the taking.  The 'real' stuff, the stuff that will make me whole... :)

"Your need for acceptance is what can make you invisible in this world" - Jim Carrey

I'll leave it at that... Thanks again, Jim!


What Really Exists

I don't know, maybe I'm just going to start to post a lot of inspirational stuff. :)  I've always been a fan of Jim Carrey, but I never thought when I first saw Dumb & Dumber almost 25 years ago that I'd be sitting her sharing YouTube videos about his mind, about his motivational speeches, about his awakenings that he is now sharing with the world.  Sometimes, I feel like I have a lot in common with him, and he's managing to put those words that have been floating around in my head into complete sentences.

It bothers me when people reference how it's easy for him to say these things because of the money he's made or the life that he has lived.  If anything, I think it only makes it harder.  It would be more difficult to lose yourself.  I'd love to meet him for a few minutes, and to just share some thoughts, and to give him a hug and tell him that I understand, and he has helped me understand.  A connection of lost souls that are finding their place in the universe, if you will.  Thanks, Jim! 


What It All Means

Here's a really cool video that puts a lot of things into perspective.  If you decide to watch it, really think about what he's saying.  Pay attention deeply, or it will be a waste of six minutes and you'll walk away with nothing.

One of the things that really stood out to me is when Jim said people tell him "Well, I don't want to be me", and he says "Well, great because you never have been."  I'll let you decipher this for yourself, but it's one of the most beautiful parts of the entire video.  

I want to post more about ego death later, but I'm still deciding how to go about it (or if I even should).  For me, the most important thing is 'living' with that death, and continuing to practice it, after it has happened.  Death is 'the end' of something, so why do a lot of people online talk about it as if it's a temporary thing?  If it's that profound, then it doesn't happen again and again.  The very definition of 'ego' is 'a person's self-esteem or self importance.'  If you've experienced it, is it necessary to plaster it all over the internet?  Is it for your self-esteem?  Is it for the followers, or the number of views you get on YouTube?  If so, then you need to re-visit the subject entirely.  It's OK to be insignificant.  Nothing matters.  If it were all gone tomorrow, would it really make a difference?

Anyway, I may post something else about it tomorrow, or maybe never.  I don't know.  I'm aware that this site is pretty much for myself, and that hardly anyone is aware of its existence.  I don't have any ads on the site, and I'm not interested in making money off of it.  It's just a simple place where I share whatever is on my mind, but never, ever, to prove myself to anyone.  Yeah, I may post about getting front row tickets to see Lindsey, but anyone can do that.  It requires no special talent.  Meeting and seeing Lindsey makes me happy.  :)  I may post a picture of a book that I got signed, or maybe some music that I'm listening to, or other things that affect me in different ways.  I'm not trying to 'prove' anything though.  I made peace with myself a long time ago.

99.999% of my posts (and other parts of this site) will go down in history as never being seen by anyone other than myself.  That's fine with me.  

I'm not important - I don't want to be.  Happy?  Yes...


Dr. Rick Strassman - DMT

Wow, what a find!  :)  While digging through the 'interwebs', I ran across this gem.  I'm currently listening to Rick Strassman's book, 'DMT: The Spirit Molecule', so I was excited to find this interview that he did with RadiOrbit (from archive.org).  I've always found the subject of psychedelics extremely fascinating because of their potential for cures and answers to an infinite amount of problems and questions that we've been searching.  Unfortunately the US government classified these as Schedule I drugs (a lot of them almost a half century ago).  If you don't know what this is, it basically means that the drug has a high potential for abuse, they have no current accepted medical use (in treatment), and there is a lack of safety for use, even under medical supervision.  Fortunately (and I can not overstate that word enough), things have started to change during the past few years and the reemergence of clinical trials are starting to prove the incredible benefits of certain psychedelics.  While most still remain 'shelved', there's still hope that they may be looked at once again also.  Here's a list of all hallucinogenic or psychedelic substances, currently under the Schedule 1 category (click here).  

Enjoy the audio post below.  Try to keep an open mind as you're listening to it. I'm sure some of you will find it very insightful. :)


Triangles, half of a brain, and lost time

 A photo of my home for 90 minutes today

A photo of my home for 90 minutes today

Well, it was everything that it could have been and more.  My appointment with the float tank at Source On High was at 2pm today.  Note, I've floated many, many times before as I think I've mentioned in previous blog posts, and each time tends to be a bit different.  I've been doing nothing but 90 minute floats lately and this is the perfect amount of time for me.  Not too long, not too short, just about right.  During todays float, I listened to the DMT activation sounds that I mentioned in the post from yesterday.  This was intense, especially not listening to it beforehand, I didn't know what to expect.  Each title was 30 minutes long, starting with Delta Waves activation, next DMT Waves activation, and then finally OBE (out of body experience) Waves activation. 

It took me about 10 minutes to get settled in, as it normally does, but as I was able to start drifting into this other conscious-like state, I first started seeing lot of three dimensional triangles with once side of them tinted, that brought out an even more 3D effect.  A little while later I felt the right half of my brain able to sleep and the left half was completely aware of everything that was going on.  This went on for probably 15-20 minutes and gave me this strange lucid dreaming type of sensation.  I was able to put thoughts from my conscious mind into the sleeping part and vice versa, which allowed me this intense sense of being able to do whatever I wanted to, go where I wanted to go, etc...  I was able to see people and places and have this odd lifelike connection with them as if I was actually there in the moment.  The time in the tank went by very quick, probably what seemed like one of my quickest floats ever.  I remember going through all three titles of the sounds I was listening too, and recall each one lasting its 30 minutes, so it's not as if I were sleeping.  I was awake, but in this very, very deep semi-conscious state, to where I could remember everything.  Of course I've only mentioned some of the stronger experiences above.  There were smaller ones too, but I want to keep this post at a reasonable length.  

After my session was over, I was in a daze for several hours and I guess I'm sort of still experiencing that.  It was like I was out of my body, and reminded me of being woken up from a dream and still living that dream at the same time.  Sleeping and dreaming tonight should be fun. :)  I'm looking forward to my next visit (in February).